Saturday, May 28, 2005
~Thursday~
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hAha... finally!!! Ming passed me the Jolin cd and i passed him the money. But i didn't keep the cd. Coz i want him to ask his fren to help me go to her autograph session. Before slping... sang a couple of songs. hEeh... coz kOr kor playing music in his room and i slept in his room so... like this lo.
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~Friday~
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What can i say. hAha... the first hour of the day i was already being... erm... how to say. Reminded about things i don't want to be reminded. Mistakes. Weakness. I hate it all. hAha... Why do you have to throw it at me again? How am i suppose to regain my strength like this? hAha... pointing out my mistakes..... i don't have a solution. Can't you understand and see how helpless am i? I also want to know what to do and hOW! So stop stop stop stop stOp.. telling me that you seen this in me and i don't know. I KnEw it all along. I just haven seen the right track.
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hAha... so my whole day was very down. Seeing anyones' face that will remind me of more bad things.... will just make me feel worse... and worst. nO ONe... just looking at myself makes me sick sometimes. I am worried on the way ppl look at me.... Now not only that... or less of that. I Don't like that way i am Looking at myself. You will not understand. I am pressurised. hAha... everytime i cannot live p to ppl's expectations... things like this will happen. Now... not only ppl's expectations.... Mine tOO!!! BAD!!!!!
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It was so down... that everything is going to change its colour to Grey. My confidence.... down down down down down today. hAha... courage too... i cannot face anyone i realised. hAiz.... am i just too stupid or what. I just really hope... many things are not like this now. You did this and tell me those for my own good i know. hAha... but....... nothing. How i wish i can change completely overnight and be happy.
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No one made me unhappy. It was just ME making myself feel more confused and bad. hAha... i couldnt care about anything. I am just not happy becoz the weakness is true.
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Sorry to those if my attitude BUgs you.
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Secretly i X*X*X*X... no one knew...
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Today, after school, i went to play pool with Edmund. hAha... my pool is bad lo. Then i went for work. Time passed so quickly. hahaha.. coz i am only working for few hours. Today got my last week pay. haha... hAppy... erm... not so.. haha... Money didn't make me happy today. =P
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oOohnNoooo... haha... i saw A NEw tOp!!!! Just a tshirt. NIcE... hEehheee... hOw.. tell me hOw?!?! i want to bUy!!!!!! =P cannot cannot... must control.. =D Spend too much le.. Red light is on not the green light hOr.... >.<
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