Thursday, July 28, 2005
hAha... so boring. hAIz... i dun understand. hMm... you also dun understand. No one understands. Especially when it comes to understanding me. haha... i am not afraid of losing to people. I just dun want to lose to myself. hAiz... how to start the battle when the warrior is not that good. My aim... seems to be so far away one. ha... boring.
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hAiz... i dun understand. Why u have so high expectations? I am not him... he is different. He is out-going.. friendly.. know what to say and what not to say.. smart... and a lot of things. Why you like to compare me and him. haha... this place is always like this. In this case... why did you even let me grow to be so anti-social. You will never understand.
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Why we are different.... is because the way that we are bought up is different. Because our gens are different. Because our friends are different. Because people we mixed with is different. Because our capability is different. Because he is taller than me. Because he is more daring than me. Because he is fun and i am boring.
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Difference so big and you cannot tell. What are you trying to do?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Pills are so difficult to swallow and bitter.. and disgusting. hAiz... why must i swallow it... -___- Dun liKE it.
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hMm... are you for real? Is this reality or just imagination? hmm.. why do i start to feel that many things are not real. I thought they are real all along. Or maybe is not the mater of real or not. Is it permanent or temporary? Are you sure this and that? Why are u still shaking because of such questions? Are you unsure? Is it true that.....
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So hOt in this room. hAha... i have start to read ifa. Tml will come and i haven start tutorial. Lazy buM dun want to do hw. Heehxx.. Little girl girl wants to play.
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+___ Come play with me ___+
Sunday, July 24, 2005
hAha... today i spent my day with Mummy again~! hAha... see Mummy smile and chat with me is definitely better when she nags at us. =P
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In the morning, we brought Song to tuition with Aunty and Liyun. hMm... Song didnt answer.. or just ignore my question again. So i... scolded him... haha... cannot control. Think only my brothers can make me sO not happy.
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Later, Aunty and Liyun went to do their things. Me and Mummy went to the market and buy things. haha... the market is crowded.. whole bugis is crowded. Because... today is the birthday of one of the Gods. hAha.. if i am not wrong is Guan Ying. =P
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After marketing, we went to another market to eat. On the way there, Mummy seemed to be quite happy. haha... think is not about the food. Think is more about..... being together. Eat vegeterian food. haha... erm.. i just hope that veg is veg and meat is not veg or veg is not meat. My mind is just simple and like veg to be veg. So the veg that looks like 'meat' means me..... dont know want to eat it or not. -____- hAha... the food is not bad. Serving is super big and so... think a bit ex. Aunty and Liyun came after a phone call and met us. They bought the vegeterian food too and brought them home. We separated again. haha... not unwillingly. We told them to wait at the car at 10.30am.
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Mummy and I went to the temple. Super lot of ppl. hAha... then we bought the flower thingy, took some sticks, light them and went into the cRowded temple. So we had to push and get pushed around the temple. A while later, we gave the ppl in charge the sticks and they helped us put on that big big thing. Dun know what is it in english... hahaha... We went deeper to the temple, kneel and prayed. Again, we have to squeeze around just to put the flowers in the vases placed on a table. EVERyone is pushing around. Heehx... i put the flowers in the vase~~ =P Time to put the donations. haha... again.. squeezed through. In front of me, there is a big uncle trying to push his way in then a old lady trying to come out. The uncle push and push then she nearly fell down so i held her wrist. She found her balance later and i let go. hEehx... i put the money in~! =P i turned around and saw many ppl trying to go the opposite direction. haha....... scary human wall. As if anytime i will turn into a pancake. Anyway, i still squeeze out of there.
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Bought some fruits. haha... got orange, grape and 2 fuji apple. Went to the car and unload the stuff and went to Fu Lu Shou. Waited for Song. Went to the car and went home.
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After resting at home for a while, Me, Mummy, Song and Cindy went down. Aunty already downstairs waiting. hAha.... we are going to bring Song to the other tuition. Next destination was some HDB at kembangan. See the house awhile... whether the finishing of some stuff is done or not. Think the job cannot be done on time. haha... then we measured the window... tables because we have to buy the curtains and table cloth for that person. Went to Bedok market and bought the curtains. We tried NTUC for the table cloth but they dont have it. Bought some personal stuff... like eggs... and a lot of stuff. After that, we went to Bugis again and traffic jam was quite serious. Anyway, we still bought the stuff and went home.
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Me and kOr went down to meet Mummy. She was waiting for us to bring Song home. haha... then when kOr got on the car..... dun know why suddenly Mummy like not happy. =/ so scary. haha... erm.. then we went to Thomson Plaza and kOr ate KFC. Mummy went to bring Song from tuition and met us later. Song went for a hair cut. Later, Mummy brought me to Jean Yip to cut hair. -____- Dun want to cut. later she let the person cut shorter and shorter... then i will cry.... ='(
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Mummy knew that kOr want to have a hair cut but then dont let him. hAhaha... So i went for it. =/ After the hair cut look better than b4. haha... that lady's name is Shirley. Quite pro... see my hair then talk a lot of 'history' about my hair. "rebond b4 arhz... then issit long hair then cut short like this length... so the hair now is this and that this and that. " Then when she cut my hair was quite fast. Her aiming was accurate. If there is not need for clipping the hair up, she will not clip it. Means that i didnt change much too. Guess the price of this hair cut.... $32!!!!!! i was about the faint liaoz. haha... Mummy didnt tell me the price inside the shop. But then think my reaction was big enough to let them hear from outside the shop?
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We went home after this. Ate dinner. Then Song and I watched another documentary about another airplane crash. hMm... can see all the fault is on the controller and the technology for communication. Fault also on degree that they should trust the TCAS or the Human talking. Controller did not clarify with the other plane. So one did what is said on the TCAS to decend coz they could not talk to the controller... some signal problem, cannot communicate to the controller... tech prob. The other plane, did what the controller said to descend but didnt follow instructions on the TCAS to climb. So when both planes see each other, they had no time to avoid each other. Then..... crash. Said to be one of the worst midair crash in German blah blah... forgot what they said.
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Song switched channel and watched some.... i dun remember show. hAha... like nothing nice on tv. So i went to bed. woke up at 10pm plus. haha... i thought i will slp till morning. but... nO... woke up at 10.pm. Dun know if i can slp later or not.
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+___ I can't feel ___+
Saturday, July 23, 2005
First time i blog in a blog is because of frustration. hAha... later i blog in my blog is to remember the happy times i spent with many people who step in my life before. Hmm... now.. you can read for yourself.
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Finally, the common test is over. hAha... Just common test only. I was really stressed by it. hMm... my motive of studying is to understand accounts.. then be a accountant.. then continue to study.. then be a
charter accountant. haha... main purpose is to earn mOnEy~!
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Today is so bOring. At first, we are going out. Then we aint.
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I woke up at 11.am.plus. hMm.. then my mother called me and ask if i can bring my younger brother to piano and Thomson Plaza. 2 places. hMm.. so i did. kOrkor came home. i was watching MTV. Then at that time, it was showing the PimP my cAR. So it just show that person sending a video of him and his car and ask for help from MTV. So MTV ppl went and modifed the car and look some sort of like a green car in the game 'Need for speed'. Love to play it some day. hAha.. i think i have the game at home? Okiez... the show is nice. But we were late. Coz we are waiting my my kOrkor, cause he asked us to wait for him.
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Finally, ready to go. So i got nothing to do and took out a pair of high heels that my mother gave me and wore it. When we were just outside the house, kOrkor said, " you want me to notice you wear the high heels is it?" Then i said,:" No!" He said, " Dont bluff lah... You looked at me and look at your heels." Blah bLah blAh.. haha... as if i want to let him see like that. hahaha...
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We went to different bus-stop. hMm... on the way to the bus stop, me and song chatted. hAha.. he is always talking about Yang yang and Maplestory. Then i asked him, " Jie jie look nice today?" Then he looked at me from head to toe and said,"Normal." >.< All kids love to bluff ppl one. XP HAHahaha... okiez... is Normal lahz.
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We board the bus and went to piano. I realised that i had forgotten to bring my ez-link card. Paid by coins and alight the bus and brought my younger brother to piano. I rushed back home to find my card. But then, cannot find. hAha... so i spent a lot of energy pushing the bed away and looked everywhere in my room. Still cant find it. And i was going to be late to bring Song to Thomson Plaza. I placed the heels back and wore slippers. Need for speed!!! So i ran to the bus stop. haha... and i was wearing skirt lo. Then i have to run in a funny way. haha... so i ran and stop and ran and stop coz need to rest a while. Board the bus and went to piano place and bring Song to Thomson Plaza. Finally, i reached and Song was late for 10 mins.
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I walked to Mrs Chen's House area. Just 1 bus stop away. Then the nice nice food, Fried Hokkien Prawn Mee shop changed people. So bAd. hAiz... the standard is not good lo. hAiz... not as nice as the other person cook one. The reason they closed the shop is... HAnd Pain. -____- No more nice nice fried hokkien prawn noodle. =/
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After eating, still dont feel like going home. hAha... 2 choices. Go Thomson Plaza to shop or go home and do nothing. So bORed. Lazy to walk also. So i took the bus back home. Then a Tamil lady who just bought a lot of things from some supermarket sat beside me. So i took my bag from my side to my lap. hMm... she was like.. saying excuse me when i was about to do it. -___- Plus my bag so small. To her was like taking up a lot of her space. -___- Think she racist lo. To me like this. -___- Stupid..... like i got do anything wrong to her or what.
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Then i alight the bus. Walked back home and regreted eating the noodles earlier. Eat maggie more cheaper. Finished reading Initial D 1, 2, 3. Initial D... reminds me of Xue Min. Coz the comic Initial D... she was the first to tell me about it. hahA... wonder what she doing.
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I rested on the bed and fell asleep. I dreamt of something. hAhaha... and in the dream, a song kept echoing in my mind. A song i never heard of. Then the image of what i was seeing blurred and became the image of, when the tv spoil then is like grey colour with many lines going in different directions. So i woke up. The feeling was like... someone knock me on the head or something. So will have disruptions... but there was no pain. Decided not to sleep.
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Went to the living room and watched MTV again. hAha... listened to Mayday... Xin Yue Tuan... and some more. hMm... then watched.. a show about Ashlee Simpson. After her was her sister, Jessica Simpson.. "Newly Weds". Later turned to Nick channel and watched Drake and Josh. hAha.. by that time my mother brother and maid came home. My maid found my ez-link card for me. So happy. hahaha... and they said that lucky i didnt throw it out the window because they found it near the window.
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So now i am writing my blog so i feel bored and wrote about the whole day. Think ppl read this also can fall asleep. So bOring bOring bOring bOring bOring bOring bOring. This is not relaxing after stupid common test. BORING!!!!!
Friday, July 01, 2005
This few days.. or this week. hAha... is not a good week... or maybe sometimes is a good week. It is just all the mindset and the point of view we look at it. And me...is a good example of someone who looks at things at a bad way. I wasnt myself lately. hMm.. is just like, i was trying to make everyone not happy. Is just.... maybe for no reason? hAha... maybe i am stressed and changed to someone i am not. Stressed and stressed on many things. But then... to tell who? hAha... sometimes tell already... got more scary things happen.
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hAha... Will people understand what i am feeling? Isolated... not ppl isolated me.. or maybe partly.. many times is i did it myself. hMm... i know is bad. For all the bad things i did this week or for the past few weeks... i will change and be a good girl. haha... Sorry if i made anyone felt uncomfortable.
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Hmm... who understand what i said? hAha... raise up your hands.. =P
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oKiez... haha... so be a good girl means... being good. No hiding to ppl eg. where i went. No pulling long face. No bully. Be more socialable. hMm... think i am good already.. =P haha... as long as i can control myself. hAha...
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Surely you all know what it felt like when u cannot melt in surroundings? hAha... i mean.. it is not different. Is the same... just the point of view you look at it. hAha... i am reminding myself again. hAha... is there a good point of view when u get scolding? Initially... i think it is a NO! hMm.. now think is a Yes. Coz i will know what is not good for me? hAiz.... stressed and stressed and still get scolding and stressed. what is so good about this? hAha...
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hAppy things? Ya... definitely have. hAha... like eating nice nice food... hMm... play play... hMMmm.... and others.. i cannot remember. hAha...
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Haiz... i feel so childish. haha... is like... my actions are childish... not is good childish.. the bad childish. hAha... what is the use of realising that it is wrong after what u have done? Yupz... that is to change. hMm.. i really hope i will work on a better attitude. hAha... no more... bad bad girl. Must be gOod good girl. not difficult right? Just need discipline. haha... yeah right.. i need reminders. hEehx. How i wish that.. i can be happy everywhere.. with any friends... and sociable... and hardworking... and smart... heehx... if i am so good. I am not me.
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+___ Seeking me ___+