Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tired and sick of many things...
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Why always find things to scold me? Very interesting? Your mistake became my mistake. Crazy person.
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Can't help it but to push myself back to bad moods... at home.. in school... everywhere. There is no place i can find peace. =/
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+__ revision... haven't start yet. going crazy. __+
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Please be careful with my Heart
If you love me like you tell me
Please be careful with my heart
You can take it just don't break it
Or my world will fall apart
You are my first romance
And I'm willing to take a chance
That till lilfe is through
I'll still be loving you
I will be true to you
Just a promise from you will do
From the very start
Please be careful with my heart
I love you and you know I do
There'll be no one else for me
Promise I'll be always true
For the world and all to see
Love has heard some lies softly spoken
And I have had my heart badly broken
I've been burned and I've been hurt before
So I know just how you feel
Trust my love is real for you
I'll be gentle with your heart
I'll caress it like the morning dew
I'll be right beside you forever
I won't let our world fall apart
From the very start
I'll be careful with your heart
Friday, February 10, 2006
Mummy is back from overseas. Maybe the clouds will clear. Maybe there will be more acceptance around me at home. Rejected in school and at home. What can be worse in my life? hAha... ya.. a lot.. there is still a lot.
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Today is a better day. Well, at least i am thinking straighter. 2 days ago, Suicide level is 9/10. hAha... today is 6/10. but there is a slight increase to 7/10 and decrease to 6/10 now and then. hAha... sick people like me will think this way.
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Walking alone to Mambo is fun. No one is looking your face. You can think about many things and made yourself feel more terrible than ever. When you are alone, you are free to do anything. Scream a little bit... cry... kick the ground. Think about all the bads that are around you.
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I thought of being rejected in life. People just me irritated and i cannot control my temper. People just don't remember the things i said before. So i got angry all over again about the same things. But things just get worse. Even more people hate me.
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They are just creating more clouds above my head. I really wonder... from Primary school clouds gather... cleared in Secondary because it was a new life there. However, clouds gathered and a storm began. I guess it cleared in Poly because it was another new life without people i know again. Poly it came again. When will this ever end. When i end my life?
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Finally i reached Mambo. I really suggest that they shouldn't leave me alone like this. I might just jump to the heavy traffic and die if i get uncontrollable. Be careful. hAhha...
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Since i cannot find a counseller to talk to me and get me through this stupid mood, i did it myself. I wrote in chinese characters about things i want to know, wrote about love and hate. Then i realise that my last sentence which is supposed to be.. "I wish to die" became...
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"When will the day that i can't feel anything comes? I wish that that day will never come. Because i want to live for the people i love and the people who love me. [*thoughts**Though is a few like less than fingers and toes i have*] Not to die for the people who hates me. [*Though there is a lot of them who wishes me dead*]" I know this... i seen before. Because this is not the first time i thought this way. Maybe.. this is my... routine. =/
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+__ Confused in this world __+
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Today, went to see BAStar. So CoOl. haha... they sing quite nice. Erm... some just sing at the wrong point of time. hAha.. Then there is this guy who is so cute and quite handsome.. Carter. hEhe... Shawn Lee looks handsome and cOol. I think he will be very good looking when he grow up a little more as in in his build you know.
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+__ Hopes for a better tomorrow __+
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Today... seems not bad day... Rained today. Felt quite cold and wet but it was okiez. Walked home in the rain. Today's presentation was okiez. We pulled through. Just a small presentation. hAha...
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In school, i bought a watch. hEhe... i Spent money again. Once pop cannot stop. I am still looking for a top to match that skirt. hMm.. i think that skirt i bought is not suitable for me. Made me look more.. erm.. big at the bottom? wAhaha...
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After school, i went to look for Edmund and Binghui and gave them the papers. After that, i went home.
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hMm... i dun understand. i really dun understand me, not you too. Hate hate hate me.
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Sad life... i need support. I need at least a better raft in this rough sea.
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+__ i was the last person you wish to see __+
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Shutting doors.
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Doors to my mind
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Doors to my heart
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Doors to communicate
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In school, can talk less than 30 sentence. Think no one will be excited about saying 20 sentence in a day. Talk as in talk... you know. Has been so boring. Why i am so... CLosed to communicating with Human Beings. Maybe me and Jack can talk more than the total adding up to everyone i know. Desperately need help from many people.
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Haiz, this morning, so unhappy becoz the bag keep making my skirt move side ways. Walk for quite a long distance becoz i took bus 985. Felt very uncomfortable and wanna faint le. hMm.. sorry if i just cannot be happy about things that are not there for me to be happy about. hMm... in school also seems to be in a cage. There is also a thick wall between me and a lot of people. Just that the thickness is different..
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I dislike the feeling that the real distance is near but the mind distance is far. Yet, the the distance is far but... Just feel.. so far and lone. I am bored. Dislike the fact that there is so much time and so little things to say. Dislike the sentence... "i go off now" Dislike the 3 letters... "nvm" Dislike myself to can't find anything to be happy about. Dislike.. almost all that i am looking at.
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+__ Being Happy __+
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Life sucks
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I dun understand
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+__ Beauty of love __+
Saturday, February 04, 2006
New year... Seems to be the usual thing every year. hAha... 1st day: meet at Ah peh House.. then go Temple.. then go to 3rd Uncle House to have dinner and play. 2nd day: Stay at home and do nothing... So we went to KBox for the night. hAha.... SO Expensive know... 3rd day: Everyone came to have dinner at our house. hAha... cooked a lot of fOod. =D Maybe the only thing that i can remember for new year is Eat. hEhe...
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Finally, i completed EAA and able to catch up with the class. hMm.. i think my setup is not completely correct. =P hAiz.... hope will not make me fail the test. =/
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Now i am all alone at home. =/ Have to eat maggie..... Mummy and Daddy don't know go where. Korkor go some place to get hong bao. Cindy and Wei Song went piano lesson. Me stay at home sing song.
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hAha... Oh ya... i got back all my things from BingHui's computer already. Sorry for the inconvenience caused and thank you.
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Today i woke up at 11 plus. After bathing and watching my brothers play warcraft.... now is 1.18 pm. Think can go back to sleep. hEhe...
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+__ No one knows No one understands __+