Wednesday, May 31, 2006
hmm... yesterday... i cried in office... haha... but is just the tears drop down kind. Think the 2 other interns saw... hha... funny lo... i cannot control thinking about things or people who are leaving before i know it.
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Then i use tissue to absorb the tears. haha... go photocopy room then also like that. cry a bit more... hahaha... funny lo. Shouldn't have thought too much. Maybe she wants to go home or its time. but i dun want her to go home............ =( she is with us for so long le.
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sad...... i thought they say girls think alot. maybe guys too.. but they don't talk about it. Somehow... i feel that he don't feel secured with me. haiz... maybe...
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Today... i think the other interns saying that i am anti-social. haha... i seriously dun know what to say to them. Plus there is no chance. Anyone who got any questions will ask Jeremy... hahaha... so i also never talk to them.
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feel so weird... maybe my face dun have the happy look.
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Saw that show... Makan food lost & found.. think i got the name wrong. haha.. anyway.. mummy going to take us to the stalls and try the food. hehehe... Botanic garden old hawker centre that don't exist anymore. Maybe i am going to buy that TV show's book. Can go try nice food.
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tml is another boring day at work. hAiz...
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Bittersweet-sweet=bitter
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Tired of the routine life... haven start the stupid report... only did work done... haiz.. think i can fail already.... the evaluation also for sure not good one... feel like tearing everything up. haha
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Yesterday saw Ivan in the MRT. hAha. he says that accountancy is boring... he is studying it at SP.
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Today, i got a rose from Mary Chia.. haha.. they are giving away roses. So nice... hehe..
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Today... got fire drill so me and my fren did nothing for 1 hour.
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Today.... is National Family Day. so we are allowed to leave 30 mins earlier... at 5pm. Cool... but then... some mean seniors kept 1 intern from NTU. hAha... lucky she nv ask me... or Jeremy... I think she aiming for Jeremy... haiz... she is irritating...
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Today... i discovered 2 new places to eat... i want to try New York Pizza and Cottage Pie at Tampines... haha.. the smell draws my soul to them.
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Today. me and Edmund ate BaliThai. hAha... is nice food... not bad.. haha...
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Sad...
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2 person i like most and i care for... and of course they like me said the same thing. hAha
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Why do they have to say that? It is my problem... My problem okiez.... not whatever. haiz... i hate myself........ dumby girl...
Saturday, May 20, 2006
HApPy BirthDaY to Wei Song... haha...
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hEhe... i bought a t-shirt for Song. But then Cindy says that it is too big.. but it is Size M.. so should be alright... maybe he cannot even get into that polo-t... wAhhahaha...
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Today, i saw a skirt i like at Tampines... Not very expensive.. so i think i will buy if i get the chance.
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Happiness will not last long... Saddness and all things bad does.
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I dun know what is happening... maybe you stop caring and i stop caring... everyone stop caring... Old mac donald had a farm... blah blah blah... hahaha
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are you playing a game with me? You know this game will lead us to nowhere. Making everything worse...What is wrong with you?Influenced by TV...Look who is the "wrong" one..You're making me dislike you...Everything is going in a cycle... in circles....Never ending misery.Sunday, May 14, 2006
11 May 2006
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I gone mad at night. hahaha... the only comment i have for myself. Then i thought about many things... and maddness continued the next day.
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12 May 2006
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My attitude gone worse and it angered myself, my parents and my brothers. hMm... my parents are worried about me but it just made me feel so much more worse.
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Kor kor scolded me for saying some stuff... trivial things... Then... he scolded me for not looking when crossing the road. It was too much for my brain... too much things going on... i just replied... "i don't mind dying" I got another scolding for teaching my younger brother bad things.
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After a very delicious lunch with my family, i went out alone. Kor kor go out with girlfriend. My parents and Wei Song went Crystal Jade to satisfy themselves then they went to try out those massage things. Me... i went shopping alone because it was raining and... i am alone.
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I spent $110. hMm... i think the best few things i bought is the skirt and the shirt for Edmund. The rest are for fun things. hahaha... went home a bit happier.
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Reached home... actually happy. Then it came out again. So... my Mummy scolded me for being rude and have no respect. But... i still talked back. hahaha... then she got really angry and scolded me til my father woke up. haha..
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Later, she asked to stand up so that she can hug me and say nice things to me. Thats love. i felt better.
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My parents and i went for supper.
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But they don't seem to know that i had been crying since home till lunch.. till after lunch... of course not the cr out loud kind.
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If you ask me what happen i can only say... either someone cursed me or my mind is out of control.
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13 May 2006
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Today is a not bad day. In fact, it was great. I brought the things to return and give to Edmund at K-ster. K-ster is cheaper.. but i think if you want really really really really new songs have to go to k-box. After singing, we walked from Chinatown to Suntec to collect the skirt i paid for yesterday.
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I learned that confidence is something that is very important to me. Really important. Without it i might just die or be a good-for-nothing person. And that confidence and energy can only be given and be sensed only when they are from people that is close to me and people that i trust and love.
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The cure: Love
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Today is training day. hAHa... Lunch is Extremely gOod!!! At 12 noon... after a part of the training... the managers and partner bring us to a restaurant to have lunch together... I think there were more than 30 people there. The 2 course meal is $19 and 3 Course is $22. hehe... we didnt have to pay... but this is not the best part... The best part is that the Dessert is very very pretty and tasty. Think next time can have lunch there... eat the dessert is enough. hAha...
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Being alone... is meaningless.they say no communication... no love.
i wonder...Wednesday, May 10, 2006
hMm.. the day before yesterday.. i saw Eugene.. Ngee Ann Pri one... Then the next day.. i saw my Secondary sch volleyball team girl... we in the same group... Today.. i saw Winnie with her boyfriend in the MRT... on the way to school. hAha.. so sweet... Can tell that the guy is very caring towards her.
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Anyway... haha... anyone want to go sing song on Saturday? I want to go the Chinatown one... the K-ster try try... hehehe... anyone want to go or happen to see this and want to go tell me hor... if not i will either go alone or ask my cousins or brothers.
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+__ Someone save me __+
Sunday, May 07, 2006
bOrreddd... Tell me what to do... I want to go K-ster... want to go shopping... blah blah..
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This morning at Bugis, a Toni&Guy person ask me to be his training school model from 10 to 11pm... free wash and blow + i can get $10 for doing it. hAhahaha... sounds gOod right? But i have something on.. like teaching my brother Chinese. So i rejected... Felt so.. hMm... poor thing for them.. coz their model last minute didnt come. But i overheard him say that he found a model before he left. hAha... Lucky for them bah...
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hAiz... i still haven figure out what to buy for Mummy... maybe.. cake? haha...
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Feel so... not good enough... In all areas.. i am not good enough... here.. there...
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Maybe i think too much for myself. But... no one think how i feel when they have a certain reaction. haiz.... restriction... Even in shopping... restriction... talking to some friends... restriction... when i go out... restriction... i feel like killing myself when i feel that way again...
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So unfair... you can do this and that... i cannot... i am not in the ability to do it even. But if i can do it... you will not be happy. Why is all this happening?
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+__ Anyone want to for hip hop dance class with me? hAhahaha... i am not a consistent person __+
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Indecent Proposal
Did i ever tell you I love you?
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No
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I do
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Still?
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Always...
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Monday, May 01, 2006
hAha... 2 days ago is... a saturday... is 29 April 2006? hahah... I waited at home.. for nothing. For past 2 weeks Saturdays i stayed at home... watch tv till dinner... after dinner watch tv.. So bOred. So this week i decided to go shopping. So i made my way to Orchard... started to shop at 4 plus. I smsed Wei Siang to come shop coz i am bored. But he already have plans. =(
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So i shopped from 4 plus to 8 plus... hMm... saw some stuff i like... but i think maybe i can find somthing else better? hahaha... i really dun know want to buy or not. =D Dun know who to ask. hehe.... should buy? maybe after shopping and seeing everything then i will decide... hope everything will still have stock.
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At 8 plus i want to go home coz i want to watch the 9pm show. hahah.... the whole day i only ate lunch... i didnt eat dinner supper breakfast then i went to bed.
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The next day, my mother ask me to bring my younger brother to tuition. haha... and pay for the fees... not using my money.. =P I ate porridge in the morning. After Wei Song's tuition, we went to Toa Payoh Pasar Malam to buy food and lunch. The Pasar malam is directly in front of Courts. Stupid Courts blasting loud music towards the pasar malam area. It was killing me. hahah... then i ask my younger brother to try the Ramly burger... so he ordered and we have to wait for a very long time.
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While waiting, i feel very very uncomfortable. Finally, the burger is ready. My vision became blur and darker so i held on to my younger brother and said that i am going to faint.. really. Haha... then i saw Cindy walking pass so i held on to her and tell her the same. They told me to sit down on the small steps in front of Courts and Cindy went to buy drinks. haha... she forgot she had plain water in her bag. I cannot stand the noise pollution by Courts so i asked my brother to bring me to Long John Silver. Later, i went to Mac to use the washroom. haha... after using it, i went down the stairs and my legs are shaking quite... erm... a lot.. so "Kua Zhang"
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We went home and i slept. haha... Mummy came home... and scream at me. =___= This is how she treats someone who is weak? hahah... jk. Then, they took turns to scold me... say i never eat.. blah blah blah... Mummy bought nice food home then we ate lo... After my lunch, i teach me brother math till night.
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Monday.... I think i want to go out shopping... but then better rest more bah... feel so sleepy. Shopping also one person... later i really faint how... haha... i still have a poor appetite bah...
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+__ CDS... i want them All... Tank.. Baby shi wo... Mo Wen Wei... Pan Duo La... Yang Chen Ling... Jolin... Zhang Dong Liang... __+