11 May 2006
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I gone mad at night. hahaha... the only comment i have for myself. Then i thought about many things... and maddness continued the next day.
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12 May 2006
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My attitude gone worse and it angered myself, my parents and my brothers. hMm... my parents are worried about me but it just made me feel so much more worse.
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Kor kor scolded me for saying some stuff... trivial things... Then... he scolded me for not looking when crossing the road. It was too much for my brain... too much things going on... i just replied... "i don't mind dying" I got another scolding for teaching my younger brother bad things.
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After a very delicious lunch with my family, i went out alone. Kor kor go out with girlfriend. My parents and Wei Song went Crystal Jade to satisfy themselves then they went to try out those massage things. Me... i went shopping alone because it was raining and... i am alone.
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I spent $110. hMm... i think the best few things i bought is the skirt and the shirt for Edmund. The rest are for fun things. hahaha... went home a bit happier.
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Reached home... actually happy. Then it came out again. So... my Mummy scolded me for being rude and have no respect. But... i still talked back. hahaha... then she got really angry and scolded me til my father woke up. haha..
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Later, she asked to stand up so that she can hug me and say nice things to me. Thats love. i felt better.
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My parents and i went for supper.
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But they don't seem to know that i had been crying since home till lunch.. till after lunch... of course not the cr out loud kind.
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If you ask me what happen i can only say... either someone cursed me or my mind is out of control.
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13 May 2006
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Today is a not bad day. In fact, it was great. I brought the things to return and give to Edmund at K-ster. K-ster is cheaper.. but i think if you want really really really really new songs have to go to k-box. After singing, we walked from Chinatown to Suntec to collect the skirt i paid for yesterday.
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I learned that confidence is something that is very important to me. Really important. Without it i might just die or be a good-for-nothing person. And that confidence and energy can only be given and be sensed only when they are from people that is close to me and people that i trust and love.
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The cure: Love