Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Terrence is working at that IT show from 30 Aug to hMm.. 2 Sept? So short only lo. Dun know IT show can earn how much money. haha.. Oh ya.. i want to buy the portable hard disk.. most probably buy from Terrence's boss. Hope not too expensive.
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hMm.. i want to buy the $30 guitar.. hehe.. lousy guitar lah.. for beginners like me. I think if i dislike playing guitar can just smash the guitar man. $30 guitar. The guide is also included.. dun know when will i go buy it. Dun know go there will be able to find the guitar or not.
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feel like going out. so sian. feel so uncontented. very uncontented with my past. extremely uncontented with myself. haha... coz i am not good enough.. i am nothing to others.
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But except for all these, i am still happy with my life, family and everything i am given.
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Hope can get pay soon. haha... i want to buy stuff..
Saturday, August 25, 2007
haha... i cut my own hair.. my fringe today. haha.. not bad lah.. still the same style but shorter a bit only.. coz my hair irritating my eyes... then dun want to spend money just to get someone to cut my fringe.. so DIY.
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hmm.. i think i cant find anyone who will be there for me to
comfort me when i cry.. someone who will
listen to me.. complain.. someone who will
talk to me... just communicate lo.. someone who will let me feel
secure.. someone who will always be there for me.. someone who is willing to share... someone who likes my existence or presences.. someone who will feel comfortable with me... someone who wants my attention... and a lot more. hey.. i am not just talking about bfs.. i meant bfs and good friends.
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I am sure that it is not my friends.. the problem is me. haha.. i just cant step out of my comfort zone. so useless one.. haha..
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I don't even dare to make eye contact with erm.. friends.. people lo. feel so weird.. haha.. aiya.. think i no hope le. Seriously No Hope!
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So Please.. don't put high hopes on me.. there must be someone even better than me.. and definitely there is someone better...
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im born to feel lonely, be alone. born to be a boring person too. don't come too close to me. really... don't.
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+_disappointment is written all over me_+Thursday, August 23, 2007
My temper is not good. haha... maybe i should do something to remember that i lost my temper. You know.. like maybe making a mark on my hand.. showing that i lost my temper today. haha...
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i dun know about you... but i do know that i always got this feeling.. Almost after every time i lost my temper.. i will feel guilty and a sense of regret. one word.. too harsh. =P thats 2 words..
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I will also get that feeling whenever i scold someone... like using bad word.. haha.. which i seldom do.. especially when i use those words on people close to me. haha... almost immediately i will get that feeling and then i will say touchwood.. and hope that i didnt say that.. and pray that they will be safe. I'm not sure about everyone.. but i always feel like this... haha..
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the bad words i use are like... Stupid.. shit... idiot.. asshole.. erm.. the others are more seldom lo. lol..
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It is really very hard to say those 3 words to people you care? Maybe i am not used to saying those words... but i know that she really need that 3 words from us but we just cant find the suitable atmosphere to say it. The most we can do is write the 3 words down.. but i am not sure whether it is enough to show our love. Can someone teach me how to say i love you to my Mummy?
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+_this feeling_+Saturday, August 18, 2007
Today, me and my Mummy went to the temple to pray. And i got some advice for myself which i cannot share. But i can tell you that.. some things are better left untold. haha... but i didnt regret knowing all those things. Must look on the bright side.
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Then i meet Edmund at City Hall. Today, i am late for i think about 40 mins. hehe.. We walked to Marina sq to see the movie slot thingy. haha.. but nv see anything we want to watch and the timing is weird coz we also cannot go sing k-box. So we walked around.
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The centre stage at Marina sq has this dancing competition. We stood there and watched 3 groups of dancers compete. The first grp combines dancing moves and those fighting or boxing moves. Not bad but very repetitive. The second grp is 3 women dress like erm.. show off their front kind. Their dance moves... turn here turn there band down show their ehem.. Better not win. The third grp is like our schools NRA. haha.. Theirs the Best among these 3 grps. Theres a lot of different moves and is a consistent kind of thing. No repeats and is catchy.
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The surprising thing is that the 3rd grp ppl.. there is this girl who looks like ChinPei when we look down. (that angle) Her looks (from tt angle), her figure, movements, way she stand, way her do her stuff, way she do the nervous action, way she dance, way she scratch her nose, way she clap her hand, way she Walk, even her VOice! EVERYTHING she do is 99% alike to Chin Pei. Is like a splitting image of her! Like Chin Pei's sister. But is not Chin Pei because i called her and she's at home.
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After much discussion, we decided to eat Sakae! wEe... hahah.. Edmund feels like eating rice or noodles mah.. dun want western.. want Chinese or Asian food. As usual, i anything also eat one. We ate a lot as usual. hehe.. We ate the unagi+the erm.. very nice to eat deep-fried thing set, 2 chawamushi, 1 cha soba, 1 salmon and 1 the erm.. salmon rolled over the rice, fish egg and mayo thingy. Always cannot remember the names.
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I think i got eating disorder. haha.. everytime i eat with Edmund.. everything taste extra extra extra nicer. haha... i think even if i eat with my family.. food taste extra nicer too..
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K-box time! very expensive... 5++++ to 9pm is $23 nett each person. haha.. After singing, we took taxi home. While waiting for the cab, we saw the fireworks! Super Nice lo! Actually, i dun mind squeezing with ppl just to admire the 15 mins fireworks. haha.. just that i dun think i will find anyone who will dun mind squeezing with ppl plus with Me (a extremely boring, expressionless, nothing to say, like an empty shell person) to admire the fireworks.
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End of day!
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Thoughts of the day
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I forgot what i wanna say. =P Okies.. is it really okie to look for your own happiness in the expense of hurting other people. Is it really okie to live your life for yourself in the expense of hurting more people... When i say "people" i meant close people like my Mummy, my family and Edmund.
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I never really tot that it is correct to want what i want.. most of the time i dun have a choice and i really dun know what i want. But i am glad that i have my Mummy to make decisions for me. But it really makes me feel so... mei zhu jian.. bei bei ren qian ze bi zi zou.. that kind of thing.. Means i dun have a mind of my own. But on the other hand, i think i did make some decisions on who i want to be with and follow my heart or sometimes Mind. I don't want to cause unhappiness cause of this few little major decisions i make...
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When people are young (playful ppl)... they will say 不在乎天长地久 只在乎曾经拥有. When people mature (especially
girls) will want the opposite 只在乎天长地久.
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+_I am just not born to make decisions_+ [i always get the wrong answers]Sunday, August 12, 2007
Yesterday, I meet Edmund at Pasir Ris. Haha.. this time is he wait for me coz I am a little bit late. Hehe.. we go to his house for awhile then took taxi to marina square. We ate at seoul garden. Haha.. everything I cook become chao ta one. Coz if it is not chao ta means is not cooked. I can’t really tell when the food is cooked. Erm.. maybe I should go learn cooking or something. Hahaha… think Edmund is a better cook than me. At least he knows when the food is ready to eat. After that, we went to Toa Payoh buy comic and went home. Edmund and Edmund’s aunty gave me the Rong Zhu Er songs and Zhang Zhen Yue songs. Haha.. So Cool!
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Today, Edmund and I went to Jurong Point and watched Rush Hour 3. haha.. super funny lo.. especially the NGs! The bad guys are always the high ranked officers. Maybe can make something more interesting for the story part. After that, we went home.
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Suddenly, (while I am on the way home in the cab) Edmund called and say that he lost his mobile phone. But the phone is not with me and not in the taxi lo. haiz… Edmund say must be in the theatre. So Edmund called the GV at JP and report the lost. I called JP to report the lost too. In the end, Edmund went back to JP GV Cinema 5 Row P seat 11 and 12 and found the phone at my seat. Luckily he found the mobile phone if not we can’t communicate during the weekdays and have to spend money to buy the phone again.
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Just hope that in future I will remember to ask him to check his pockets for his belonging. Usually I will ask him to check them but I forgot about it today.
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+_
Hope that in future I can make up my mind quickly and do the right thing_+
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Yea! Edmund is back from Tekong. haha.. Edmund will book out on 8 Aug evening Wed and will book in on 9 Aug Thurs 10pm. haha.. think i shld ask to shift my Thursday working day to Wednesday bah. Have to ask them first.
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Today we watched Flashpoint. haha.. Flashpoint is just a movie about police, spy, bad guys, betrayal and those triad stuff lo. Typical Hong Kong TV series kinda thing in a movie. haha.. Not bad lah. The movie is Violent and theres LOTs of fighting that kind. haha... i Like! haha.. but a bit not realistic and too violent bah. Coz if anyone suffer that one blow, i think already fainted or bone broken. Should be unable to fight back after getting hit like that.
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I want to learn how to fight like them!!! I want to learn how to defend myself when someone attack me. haha.. like when ppl attack then turn here twist there then in the end is i pin them down kinda thing. Use the attacker's energy to my own advantage that kind. haha.. i don't mind learning how to slam ppl too. =)
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Edmund bought a dress for me from Blossom. haha.. Quite nice. haha.. erm.. but i never wear that kind of dress before so not really used to it. My mummy say.. i should go on diet.. coz i got Tummy! haiz... must jian fei.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
=) Nowadays got so many super nice new songs!!! =) Extremely excited lo! Most importantly, i will be getting the songs from my friends. hehehe.. if i got money sure will go buy and support the singers one. erm.. but i seriously have no money. Have to wait for my 2 days pay for July. =P
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Mi lu bing songs is all so NICE!!! Most probably becoz most of the songs are like FIR style kind one. hehe.. coz i Love FIR mah. Actually, i tot that only their fast and catchy songs will be attractive in the album But, the su qing slow songs are also nice. I haven hear any songs that have cheesy lyrics yet.. maybe only the "so sad" is not really good. haha.. Really! the rest of the songs are great. (sorry arh.. my vocab like only got nice and great to describe things -__-)
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The must listen songs will be "Lei", "Shi Ying", "Tian shi juan lian" and "wo wei she me hai ai ni"!
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JJ songs, i only hear the Big man small women.. haha.. direct translation. That song is nice.
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Another super duper touching song is "Xiao Xiao" by Rong zhu er!!! Anyone have this song MUST send me. Very touching and nice. haha.. The song is composed by the talented Jay Chou and Lyrics by Fang Wen Shan. This is also a must listen song!
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hMm.. Oh ya.. i saw the new song on MTV. Mayday and Chen Qi Zhen sang the "Si ben dao yue "ball" (Moon)" my han yu ping ying that good. haha.. anyway that song is nice, Sweet and very couple kinda thing.. Mayday Ah Xin like so lucky this year. Have chance to work with SHE, kiss Selina (heard that there was a lot of NG) and work with Chen Qi Zhen. haha.. Lucky man... erm.. if anyone found this song also must send me!
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Addition to my list of songs i want
Erique Iglesias songs (The ping pong song?)
Home by Daughtry
Fei Lun Hai new song